Nothing is working for my near 3yr old… he throws a tantrum when we leave, I even try to say transitioning things and when he’s naughty we ignore whatever he doing because he won’t sit in time out so we have a no speaking to him rule when he’s in time out (my step mom taught me that was a good way to make him want to be a part of things going on instead of being in trouble) but he lately has started hitting and throwing heavy things at me, he’s busted my lip open a couple times and last week he wouldn’t stop jumping on the couch and thought it was funny to kicked me in the face, I got a black eye out of it ….right before work. What am I doing wrong?! I’m ready to give up.
My son was screaming/yelling/throwing a fit/talking back so bad at Walmart and I heard people talking. I heard a man’s voice say “That’s not good” and I heard a woman say “Shut up”. We left, and I had to leave my allergy medicine that I really wanted to get and I didn’t get to get cards for Mother’s Day. I’ve never been so publicly humiliated, shamed, or felt like such a failure before. I drove all the way home with tears starting to well up in my eyes. Right as a couple spilled out and I wiped them off my cheek, I saw the maintenance man that works at my apartment at the stop sign. I was behind him for about 10 seconds and he turned into the apartment. I remembered that I saw my neighbor at the jewelry department and maybe she saw the Walmart situation. I burst into tears. I said “I don’t even want to go home!”. I couldn’t stop crying (ugly crying like someone died) for about 20 minutes. I sat at some random government building until I was able to pull myself together enough to face my apartment building with a face bull of smeared mascara and red puffy eyes. I feel like a complete failure…and it’s Mother’s Day.
Thank you for this informative and reassuring post. It’s comforting to know that there are valid reasons behind these episodes. I believe that what we parents need is just the right amount of patience with our kids. Understanding the reason for the behavior also helps. Because I find that dealing with it head on when they’re throwing tantrums do not help at all. It’s better to wait for it to simmer down and talk to them about it. Learned a lot from this. This post deserves to be shared!
Perhaps, its time to have a new way of udentifying with our children. A child learns everything behavior from someone or something.
A child lives in the moment. Teaching them to reflect will only secure a hard wiring and what if the only experience worrying(a behavior taught to the child)
about a problem. Now, leave the child alone and the next day that worry would have been gone, only the child has been taught to think this way.
What might be going on in the womb during the first nine months. Do any soon to be mothers worry?
I had two out of control boys come into the nursery. I taught them how to be kids again and four months goes by, a mother comes up to me. I want to thank you. They listen, they mind, they’re so much fun. Shaking my hand, almost emotional, and as the months pasted I got to know thjs mom and her husband. Once, I did, it was easy to see what had created the boys behavior.
We ask each other. How are you doing? Is this because we are constantly tuning into how we feel throughout the day.
Do ask kids the same questions that are asked to adults. A child’s mind isn’t the same as an adult. A child will naturally let go in order to continuing to learn new things.
They’re not in a niche like adults. They’re constantly open to learning new things, not like an adult. They’re open to letting go, not like adults.
How do you behave after a crappy day at work. Could your child behavior be that like yours?
Are you teaching your kid(s) to analyze everyday as good or bad, or have them talk about a bad experience like you would an adult?
Children are different and we expect to communicate with them in the same manner as adults.
Children should be pulled into each moment of the day. Which is the reason children can let things go, unless, of course a parent(s) have this routine of asking, how was your day.
There shouldn’t be a meltdown unless, the child’s mind has been disrupted by someone or something.
I have a 2 year old boy. He is very smart for his age but his attitude is awful sometimes. He is great at daycare, he listens, helps, and he is respectful. When I pick him up, he’s happy to see me. By the time we get out to the car he gets this attitude out of no where and just stops listening and starts screaming if I tell him to do something. For the past week at home he had been yelling, screaming, spitting, hitting things, biting things, and telling me no. Its out of nowhere. I have tried time out and talking to him calmly. He tells me be doesn’t want to be nice. I just don’t know what to do. I get so upset and cry because I don’t think I’m doing good enough.
My 13 months old son acts like he has split personality. He is a very good boy, having his meals on time, no-whining baths and absolutely no screeching, when am off to work. Its a completely different story when am at home. Breakfast and lunch take 1 hour and multiple trips around the house and my ears keep ringing by the time I step out of the bath. He does the same with my husband. I, now, feel am responsible for this behavior. Maybe he’s had too much of mommy !!!
I have a four year old daughter, she behaves well when I am not around. There are few things that ticks her off for e.g she just cannot Stan and watch people singing birthday song for others, she cannot accept that she is not getting a gift, everyday has to be her birthday. Just the other day her pre school had a program for mothers and I was given a prize… She pulled the stash off me and was crying profusely. It becomes really embarrassing…please help
I have a two year old daughter and I’m a stay at home mum and she really good for me she has the odd moments but we get over them. She eats all her meals well and helps me BUT when her dad comes home from workshe changes into a little monster she’s si demanding won’t let him sit down its got to be where she says and he’s does as he is told she’s got him round her little finger I just don’t know what to do 🙁
Hi Angela, This is very common. Toddlers have different relationships with each parent. Your daughter has been following your rules all day, now she wants to see how far she can get with Dad. He’s understandably, not enthusiastic about setting limits after being away from her all day. He just wants to have fun with her! But now that she’s a toddler, he’s got to shift into limit-setting mode. “We can play and have fun, but you must be kind and not bossy. I’m the Dad, and me and your Mom make the rules. You can chose the activity, as long as it’s fun for me too. What shall we do? Then, it will be time to get ready for dinner and bed…” Hope that helps!
My 4 year-old daughter has always had, and still has, crying/tantrum episodes every single day. it’s humiliating. Bed time is so stressful EVERY DAY! And this is not the only time she is out of control.
I have tried it all; talking nicely, positive reinforcement, games, etc, etc., still, nothing works. We can’t figure it out…we would appreciate your input…I’m all ears!!! Thanks!!
I’m no expert but maybe try starting the bedtime routine a bit earlier or before dinner when both of you are less tired. That usually works for me. A promise of being able to play for a while or watch a favourite cartoon once they are in their pyjamas is a good incentive. If my daughter really acts up I refuse to read a bedtime story.
I’m concerned about my 4 year old son I’m actually scared of he’s behavior he talks back to me, at times he yells at me of course I talk to him and he goes to time out sometimes or we do other things but nothing seems to work I’m afraid he won’t change
I feel like I’m just doing everything wrong
My 10 year old daughter and I can have so much fun together. But last summer she cried at summer camp during the night so badly she only lasted 2 nights. We lost $400 (7 day camp). Now she’s embarrassed and asked me not to tell a parent of a new friend why she couldn’t sleep over for a slumber party. I didn’t tell that parent. Now I found out she’s been telling all her friends that it’s because I am “paranoid”…and the sleep over parent avoids me like the plague! What do I do?
Angelina, Sometimes our kids just aren’t ready to separate and camp – in an unfamiliar place with unknown people can be a bigger challenge than sleeping at the houses of friends. With your ten year old daughter, from what you describe, this seems to be the case (though make sure something else wasn’t going on at camp that made her uncomfortable). If she doesn’t want to tell friends that she’s not sleepover ready, let her use you as the excuse. You can give her appropriate wording so you are comfortable with it too – like “right now, my mom prefers me to sleep in my own bed.” In time she can revisit the idea with friends or family nearby when she is ready (and you know the environment to be safe) but let her dictate when.
Why is it that our son who is 4, is great when he is with one or the other. But when my husband is home with me and the kids, he sometimes can be a nightmare. I swear he does things to get under our skin, we walk around him ignoring his rants and kicking in the floor, I tell him when he is calm we will do what he wanted to do. But he is so head strong. My question is , is ignoring it the best thing to do when he won’t won’t listen to what u have to say??
The word say’s, “spoil the child spare the rod” meaning you can love them & beat that ass!! As they get older they will appreciate that ass whiping cause that very whiping kept them from going to the jail house or robing, saleing drugs, killing someone or even you.. & the list goes on
My daughter and grandson live with my husband and I. She has varying hours at her job and on the days that she is home during the day the baby (15 months) won’t nap, play contentedly or sometimes stop screaming. He and I have peaceful days otherwise. Is he resentful of her absence? His father sees him every weekend and he doesn’t behave that way when he is here.
my 19 month old is really fond of my sister in law whom she sees once a week .. my daughters eyes sparkel when she sees her..and wants to be with her only and avodies me and when i try to pick her up in my arms she crys like hell and wants her only … this really makes me insecure and i question my self where m i goin wrong tat she wants her more… my SIL already has a six year old son …… plz help
[…] in his life. Which then makes him more agreeable in general, and less prone to pushing limits and difficult behavior. I find that we reconnect on “Yes Days” and get back into a groove of attunement […]
Thank you for this. I don’t have meltdowns as such, as I always make a big fuss of the reunion, but the Bunny likes a quiet time while I cook – she draws and colours at the kitchen table and chats away when she’s ready. Bed times, however, are our catch up time. That’s when I find out that she’s been good or was on the naughty step… I never make a big thing out of it… What I am battling with currently is prayers. I’ll have to pray about that myself I think.
Thank you for a lovely blog.
Thank u for posting. The story of my son & me! Lol!
I wonder if the same can be said for kids of divorced families where the child acts like an angel for one parent and acts up at the others. I have struggled with behavioral issues with my daughter but her father claims she is very well-behaved at his house. Her father claims it is my fault that I have these issues with her.
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It’s not easy for parents to stand firm when their little angel is unleashing a tornado of negative emotions. Your heart would break every time you see your baby cry or become physical. In fact there would be days when you’d want to give in and change your rules … but you need to take out the emotions.
Remember, this is the time your child is growing and he or she needs to understand that you won’t agree with all of their choices. Make them understand that getting into a fight or throwing things wouldn’t change your mind or house rules.